Hindsight
by fyn64
Summary: Set one year after 7.02 'That's What You Get Folks For Makin' Whoopee'. Alternate Universe. Luke and Lorelai centric.
1. She Hid Behind The Only Thing

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter One: She Hid Behind The Only Thing She Knows, Herself

"I understand but the order was still incomplete, Matt." she was on the phone with one of her purveyors. There was a knock on her door.

"So they'll be here by Friday? Great, thanks again." Another knock preceded the last and Michel entered her office. "Yes?" she looked up from her computer and placed the phone back on the receiver.

"Someone wants to speak to you and she said she's in a hurry." he said in his distinct accent. "but I'd already forgotten her name." he added.

"I'll be right out."

"I guess I might as well get her something to drink since I am the fetching guy in this place." he said as he walked out.

"Thanks Michel." she said and normally would have rolled her eyes with his remark but she just smirked. Ever since she and Luke broke up, everyone had been uncharacteristically nice to her which she found annoying. It wasn't the fact that she didn't like their behavior towards her, it was the underlying tone of pity that bothered her.

She walked toward the main desk but saw no one there so she turned to the dining room and saw a familiar figure sitting down, nervously tapping the table with her fingers.

"Liz" she gasped as though she'd seen a ghost. "H..How are you?"

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here."

"Somewhat of a head-scratcher, I guess." she paused, not wanting to bring his name up first but knew that it was going to come up anyway. "I mean, I haven't seen you and Luke.. since the diner closed a year ago."

"I need to tell you this before I ask for the biggest favor I could ask of you." Lorelai looked at her with deep concern.

- - - - -

"It happened a month ago..." she went on to and told her that he was on route to Woodbridge to pick April up for their early summer excursion. Supplies for the camping trip were securely tied down on the back of his truck. Everything was set. It took one drunk driver to change his life forever. Luke didn't even see the car swivel towards him and when he finally did, it was too late. Weeks passed and nothing but the constant beeping of his heart monitor filled the hospital room. He was in a deep coma.

The only ones who knew were Liz, TJ and Jess. No one in Stars Hollow had heard of this freak accident. Since his breakup with Lorelai is permanent, the townies just figured that he kept his promise to close his diner and moved far away. 

When he finally regained consciousness, he tried to pry his eyes open but the bandage blocked his view. __

"What the hell is going on?" he cried and woke Liz up who slept on the couch near his bed.

"Luke you're awake!" she said as she went to hug him.

"I can't see a damned thing!" he exclaimed.

"Calm down a sec, please! you just got out of a coma."

"That doesn't explain why my eyes are all bandaged up."

"Luke... You were in a car accident and the collision almost killed you." she sniffled "This.. the doctors saved you. Your eyelids were severely damaged in the accident. You're just... temporarily blind, Luke, temporarily." she tried to reason with him.

"And what, I have to sit here and wait until they figure out a way so I can see again?" he couldn't help but be angry. "They should've just let me alone..."

"Don't say that. You don't mean that. Losing your sight and having to rely on others, that's hard...but losing you is not an option."

He'd been living with TJ, Liz and his baby nephew Adam, in their place up in Maine. At first, he never left his room and just slept until another day passed. He had yet to accept his situation, accept the fact that now, he had to depend on his sister and brother in law for his basic needs due to his temporary disability. 

- - - - -

"I know I'm out of bounds for asking this of you but I don't know who else I can turn to. TJ, Adam and I need to be in the West Coast Renaissance Circuit for next month or else we're going to lose our prime spot for next year, which means no work again. I don't think Luke would want to tour the country in his condition. I would've called Jess, but he's promoting his book around the country. Luke staying in Stars Hollow with your help seemed like the only viable option but now, by the looks of your reaction... I don't know what to think anymore."

"I'm just trying to grasp everything you've just said."

"Then would you consider taking on the favor?"

"I have to think about it." she said firmly.

"That's all I'm asking...for now"

- - - - -

She tried all she could to get rid of her memories of him, but of course that was not as easy as 'Eternally Sunshining' everything away in a blink of an eye. It had been a year since they grew apart, after a year of trying to hold on to each other. The townies assumed that she's moved on when they saw Christopher more. He frequented Stars Hollow to visit or take her out. She gave him her, 'I'm, ok' smile and they with proceed with their night. He was oblivious to the pain that she masked. He just wanted this to work so bad that it didn't really matter how Lorelai truly felt about anything as long as they were ok. He still had yet to admit to himself that she was unhappy, she would always be until she got what she wanted. And unfortunately for Chris, he was just not it.

He told her that this was it for him, words he knew she wanted to hear. Albeit, she needed to hear the words from someone else but at that moment, she made herself believe him. That's why she'd agreed to whatever it was she and Chris had. Twelve months passed but that did not erase the pain _at least_ she thought, _'at least he chose me now'. _

She didn't feel emotionally or even physically connected to him but told her heart to go along with this because she believed that this was all she had left.

Lorelai caught herself drift off and snapped herself awake from day to day. She'd been living her life like she was hatched from a pod. She no longer dictated who she was. She had let her situation run her like an antique music box, and waited for someone to turn her wind up key to get her going. She started as early as a quarter to six to be at the Dragonfly then stayed and worked in her office until she felt like going home. She left early on nights when Chris took her out to dinner or something.

Stars Hollow is a small town and a drive home meant that she had to see a glimpse of the closed diner whenever she drove past the square. The same diner that she lived in, the same place that she walked away from. She felt her old self emerge and felt the tears that were about to break the dam that she'd held up for so long seeking for release. As those moments came, Pod Lorelai, immediately took over and shut off the water works before they even start. She managed to close her eyes, took a deep breath before she drove home where this cycle repeated itself from day to day like a broken record.

- - - - -

It had been a couple of weeks since she found out. She needed to see it herself to believe, even though she knew it wasn't the best choice for any one at this point. However, she was determined to find out how _he_ was, if everything Liz said were true. She called Sookie and Rory that morning, told them that she's going to be out for a couple of days. She told them that she'd be back soon and not to worry.

She was on her way to Maine. 

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell  
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell  
Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
Where are you gonna go?_

Switchfoot- Dare You to Move

to be continued...


	2. Contradicting Then, Contemplating Now

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.  
A/N: Thanks for reading, I appreciate the feedback.

Chapter Two: Contradicting Then, Contemplating Now

She walked up to the house and didn't know what to expect. It had been a year since she'd seen or heard of Luke, in the very least she was curious. It took her a while, but she finally rang the bell after almost thirty minutes.

"Who is it?" a voice yelled. She rang the bell again. "What do you want this time again Ed?" before she knew it, TJ opened the door and a shocked expression came over his face. "Lorelai."

"Hey TJ." she said simply.

"Wow I was not expecting you. I thought you were that pesky neighbor of ours that always borrows something 'cause he's too lazy to buy his own groceries. Come in."

"Is Liz here?"

"Yeah, she's just upstairs changing Adam's diapers. I still can't handle them myself."

"Oh." she said as she grinned slightly about his revelation.

"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked her but she politely declined.

"TJ was that Ed again? I told him a couple of days ago that..." she carried Adam down the stairs with her and stopped when she saw Lorelai sitting on their couch. "Hey."

"Your baby is adorable."

"Thanks." she handed the baby to TJ and he took him upstairs. "So..."

"I just wanted to see how he is."

"Ok." with that, she led Lorelai upstairs to his room.

He was still sleeping and had his back turned from them. He wasn't wearing his trademark attire, no flannel in sight, no backwards baseball cap. Instead he wore a sweatshirt and pajama pants which were both loose on him since he'd lost so much weight. His bandaged eyes stood out from his dark attire. Lorelai didn't even recognize him at first. She felt a tremble form on her lips. She couldn't take the sight in front of her and rushed back downstairs. Liz closed the door and followed her.

"I don't think I can do this. I'm sorry." she managed to say as she picked up her jacket and walked back to her jeep.

- - - - -

He woke up a couple of hours later and went on with his routine. Sat up on his bed for about an hour before he decided to go to the bathroom. He went back to his bed and sank down on his pillow until Liz or TJ brought him his lunch or dinner. Sometimes, TJ offered some news on sports, which most of the time he accepted. Liz turned the radio or the TV on for him so that it wouldn't be so quiet in his room. On rare occasions, he'd ask one of them to lead him to their back porch so that he'd sit outside and breathe in fresh air.

In a small amount of time, his life turned a complete 360 on him. Not a day passed that he wondered 'What if I'd just told her about April, or just agreed to elope with her right then and there' that their situation could've been resolved rather than dissolved into nothing. He knew he can't keep living in the past. He constantly reminded himself of the day that she told him she slept with Christopher. She ended it and there was no way for them to go back to the way they used to be.

When he finally got out of his coma, he told Liz not to tell April, Anna or any one else from Stars Hollow. She didn't need an explanation, obliged with his request and closed the diner.

- - - - -

She got stuck in heavy traffic as she drove back to Stars Hollow. She didn't want to think about what she just saw but it seemed to have been branded in her thoughts. Luke was helpless and limp. She had never seen him so fragile, as he used to be her guide post, the glue that held her together. But after everything that happened, he was no longer that. He became a mirage and turned into this person she couldn't even distinguish. When she finally saw him there after a long time of being apart, she felt her heart sink to the floor. No matter how much she forced herself to move on with her life, she knew that he's still the man that she ever truly loved, still love for that matter.

"Hey Mom" Rory answered her cell while typing up her editorial at the Stanford Eagle Gazette.

"Hey kid." she said, in a tone where only Rory knows that something was wrong. "Are you busy?"

"No, I'm just finishing up some things. Where are you now?"

"In Maine." she said without further details.

"Oh." Rory replied without realizing what that meant. Lorelai hadn't told her about the visit with Liz.

"Long story short, I know where Luke is."

"Wha..Ho..Where?"

"He's living with Liz and TJ. He didn't see me, well because he's temporarily blind."

"What??"

"I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you now but I had to tell someone."

"That's ok, I'm just really confused." stopped what she was doing and sits up. "I'm all ears now."

"Ok, then here goes."

She told Rory about everything, about why she decided to just head up to Maine, about Liz's favor and about everything else she'd been bottling up inside her.

- - - - -

She drove by the square and parked across the diner. She no longer held back the distraught feelings she felt. She needed her pain to be released. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she allowed herself to cry, to be _that girl that she didn't want to be._ She wanted to help, and her pride was the shield that she carried for so long.

It was finally time to let the shield go.

She knew what she was getting herself into. Right now she figured, there's only one way out.

"Liz? hi, it's Lorelai." she paused. "I'll do it." she said simply and closed her eyes.

_and who's to say it's wrong  
and who's to say it's not right  
where we should be from now  
so this is where you are  
and this is where i am  
so this is where you are  
and this is where i've been_

_The Fray- Hundred_

to be continued...


	3. Home Is Where Your Heart Lied, Literally

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter Three: Home Is Where Your Heart Lied, Literally

They went to the doctor twice every week, to see how his eyes were doing. He was told that his sensory was improving but Luke could still not see. His eyes suffered a terrible blow but the doctor reassured that things will eventually get back to normal, he just had to be patient. It took a while before Liz told Luke about the arrangement, well minus the a little detail, Lorelai. She just told him that she'd found someone reliable.

"I don't need anyone looking after me!" he yelled.

"For the time being you do." she said in a calm voice.

"I don't know why you keep pressing the issue. You can leave me there. I can take care of myself."

"How are you going to do that when you can't even see a thing?"

"I've lived there long enough to know my way around."

"I can't just leave you alone."

"I am alone now." said in a bitter tone

"I know but..." .

"Fine." 

After days of disagreement, he'd succumbed to the arrangement. Liz persisted to a point where he didn't feel like arguing with her anymore.

- - - - -

"Hey Lor!" Chris said as he stepped in her office.

"What are you doing here? It's still early."

"I know, but aren't we having our lunch date since you've been so busy?" he asked. 

"Oh." she was so distracted that she forgot. "I .. uh.. I'm sorry I can't today, I'm just swamped with work." It wasn't a stretch out of the truth, she did have a lot of work to do. She also had a lot in her mind.

"Not even for ten minutes?" he pleaded.

"Five." she forced a smile on her face.

- - - - -

"Ok so here we are at your old place." she said as TJ helped Luke up the stairs and led him to sit on his bed. His apartment looked exactly the same, dark and disheveled. "We're leaving tonight so is there any last minute things you want us to get you?"

"No" he responded as he leaned back on his pillow and took a deep breath. He knew agreeing to this was going to drive him insane and not knowing who's going to monitor his movements was bugged him. "Who's coming to check up on me? You just managed to skip that part." he mumbled.

He heard her sigh as she sat next to him.

"You didn't hire Kirk, did you?"

"No. Now that would've been funny." she joked.

"Patty?"

"No." 

"Then who is it? The least you can do for me is tell me who's going to be checking up on me." Then a daunting realization came over him, he wasn't a dunce after all. "Tell me you didn't talk to Lorelai" he said as she placed her hand on his arm.

"I had no other choice!" she said and he drew his arms away from her.

"She knows about this?" he questioned angrily as he pointed to his bandage.

"Yes." she said pointedly. "I was not going to leave you with someone like Kirk to take care of you, or anyone in this town for that matter. I knew you didn't want any gossip mongrels looking after you. Anna was out of the question since you haven't had contact ...

"I haven't had contact with Lorelai either."

"I knew you two broke up but I also know that you still care about each other."

"That was a long time ago, it's different now."

"She still cares Luke. That's why she'd agreed to do this after she saw..."

"When?" 

"When, what?"

"When did she, when did you talk to her?"

"A month ago. I went to the Dragonfly and asked her to look after you. Just check in from time to time."

"You shouldn't have done that. You didn't have the right to do that to either of us!" he knew he was defeated. She was going to be there to see how he's doing until Liz and TJ come back from the faire.

- - - - -

She left the Dragonfly early and asked Sookie to pack her a dinner for two. She parked her Jeep in front of her house and walked toward the diner for what seemed like the first in a long time. She felt her heart race as she neared the door as if it was the last door she was going to open. The sound of the key clicked loudly as she entered the dark apartment, his apartment. He was asleep on his bed as she walked in soundlessly. She took in a breath and felt herself quiver as this scent brought back all the memories she pushed away.

- - - - -

He shifted in his sleep and whimpered from time to time. She sat on his couch but knew that she couldn't just go next to him and startle him.

It was a quarter to midnight and Luke had woken up. He lifted his head from the pillow and sat up from his sleeping position. He heard her breathing steadily and figured that she was asleep. He got up to go to the bathroom but had forgotten that he wasn't at Liz's anymore. He walked right into one of his dining room chairs which caused it to fall over and create a loud thud which immediately woke Lorelai up.

"Shit!" he said as he padded his way back up to stand.

"Luke are you ok?" It had been a long time since he'd heard her voice and he didn't want to admit to have missed it.

"I'm fine." he said as he tried to walk back to his bed but stumbled on his luggage. "Damnit!"

"Did you want to go to the bathroom?" she asked as she slowly neared him.

"I said I'm fine." he didn't move this time.

"I'm here to help you. Whatever you need." she said softly as she tried to help him up but instead he brushed off her hand.

"I can do this myself." he walked back to where his bed was and stumbled through again.

- - - - -

Paul anka was usually a friendly dog. He'd let Babbette, Miss Patty and even Kirk pet him when they approached him but he was different around Christopher. He didn't go near him at all. When he would pick Lorelai up to go out, Paul anka would often disappear into the garage and would only come out when Lorelai reassured him that he was no longer in the house. He was a fickle dog, rightly so since he'd hadn't had a decent burger since Luke had been around, or so that's what Lorelai thought a while back.

Chris parked his car next to her jeep. He rang the bell a couple of times but there was no answer. He tried to call her again but he didn't get a response from that either. Paul anka rushed to the window and started to bark at him loud enough to wake Babbette up.

"Who's there?" she opened her window and snuck her sleepy head out to see what the ruckus was about.

"It's just me, Babbette. You know how Paul anka hasn't grown to liking me yet."

"Oh don't we know it." she said under her breath.

"Do you know where Lorelai is?"

"She's probably asleep, suga'." she paused. "and we're trying to do the same here." 

"Sorry for the noise." he said. "I guess I'm just gonna go home." as soon as he was out of sight from Paul anka, the barking seized.

- - - - -

The sun pried through the gray drapes. She'd slept on the bed that Jess used to sleep on and Luke was still deep in his slumber on his bed. Her phone began to ring and she rushed to her purse before it becomes loud enough to wake Luke up.

"Hello?" she answered in a hushed tone.

"Lor, are you ok?" immediately, more like a reflex, she rose from her seat and walked towards the hallway. 

"Chris..." she said and closed the door behind her. 

"Yeah, where are you?"

"I'm at... home." not wanting to explain.

"That dog of yours needs to be trained more."

"What are you talking about?"

"It started barking at me when it saw me." 

"He, Chris, he's a boy." she defended.

"Why didn't you open the door last night?

"I was just really tired." and that goes for many ways. She was tired and exhausted about anything related to Christopher, she was tired of pretending to be happy when she's really not. "You can't just randomly expect me to open my door every time you show up. I have to get ready to go to work."

"So I'll see you tonight then?" 

"No, not tonight, I'm busy."

"We haven't gone out in a while Lor. What's going on?"

"I have to go Chris." she hung up, went back inside, and saw that Luke was awake.

She went straight to his fridge and got out the plate of lamb chops, and vegetable gratin and placed it in the microwave. "I'll put it on your right night stand so it'll be easier for you to access it."

He didn't say anything in response.

She placed his cell phone on his hand. "Call if you need anything. I'll be back at seven."

_You don't have to put up a fight  
You don't have to always be right  
Let me take some of the punches  
For you tonight_

Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone

U2- Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own


	4. A Call For What Is Needed to Be Told

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.  
A/N: I wanted the main focus on this story to be Luke and Lorelai, of how they interact after one year of not having contact. So really characters like Chris, April and even Rory are secondary to this plot. Freedom of a fanfic right? I mean this is an 'alternate-universe'. Anyway, Thanks for reading and for your feedback.

Chapter Four: A Call For What Is Needed To Be Told

Christopher, still in denial of Lorelai's evasions planned a 'romantic' evening for the pair of them. He figured she was too tired to go out so he ordered food, brought flowers and dressed up in a fancy suit for tonight. He needed this night to be perfect, to make her happy. He walked up to her door and was relieved not to find Paul anka near the window. He rang the bell and again there was no answer. 'hmm, she's probably still at work' he thought to himself. He got back in his car and drove to the Dragonfly.

- - - - -

She came back just as she promised, seven o'clock with dinner. She asked him if he wanted to eat but he only grunted in response.

"You didn't touch your lunch." she said as she looked over to where she left the plate of food that morning.

"I'm not hungry."

"I had Sookie whip up a turkey burger." she said but she didn't get an answer. "Or just tell me what you want."

"I don't want anything."

"But you haven't eaten." she placed the bag she held on the table and got rid of the plate on his nightstand.

"I didn't ask you to bring food and babysit me, Liz did." he said forcefully.

- - - - - 

Sookie was still at the inn at eight thirty pm and finishing the last of her mise en place for the next morning.

"Hey Sookie." a guy said and surprised Sookie that she spilled the bowl of eggs that she just cracked.

"Christopher... what are you doing here?" he helped her pick up the mess

"I thought I'd stop by here since Lor didn't answer the door... so she's not here?"

"No... she just left." she didn't know why she lied but she did.

"Sorry for scaring you like that."

- - - - -

Three nights later, he still refused to eat and just drank water. So instead, she filled his glass with milk and carefully handed it to him.

"What the hell is this?!" he said as he spat out the liquid.

"It's milk."

"I know it's milk, why the hell did you put milk in my glass?"

"You haven't been eating." 

"Well that's my problem, not yours."

"I'm responsible for you Luke, I can't let you shrivel up because you refuse to eat."

"Frankly that's none of your business." he snarked at her

"Just eat something please." with that she got up and left her seat. "Just pretend it's not me who's giving you food." she paused "If that's easier for you."

- - - - -

"Chris? Oh no she's not here. She... uh.. she just left a couple of minutes ago actually." she paused. "Alright I'll tell her." Sookie said as she closed her cellphone.

"Alright Sookie, I'm off for the night." Michel said.

"Didn't Lorelai say she was headed home?"

"Yeah, why?

"No reason."

- - - - -

Lorelai was relieved to find the food that she left him that morning was not left untouched. The plate was half full, 'better than nothing' she thought. But she didn't find him sitting on the couch where he usually sat by the time she brings him dinner.

"Luke?" she peeked around the apartment but he wasn't anywhere in sight. "Luke?" 

"Bathroom." he opened the door and walked out with wet hair.

"Your bandage..."

"Waterproof." 

"Oh."

"What? You thought I haven't been showering all this time?"

"No, I..." 

"It's ok."

"Hungry?"

Short, simple and current seemed to work for them. If that's how it was going to be from now on, she had accepted it. At least now, she knew where he was going to be.

- - - - -

"What's wrong Sook?" she asked as her friend as she strolled in the kitchen the next morning. Sookie gave her a weird look.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you having problems with Christopher?"

"What...?"

"He's been calling nonstop and even dropped by to see if you were here last night."

"I don't want to talk about it now ok?" she pleaded.

"Lorelai, you seem to be doing well now, why are you doing whatever that it is that you are doing?" 

"Sookie, it's nothing ok. I just don't want to discuss this, period." she walked out of the kitchen with her hands clutched around her coffee mug.

_but there's no blame  
for how our love did slowly fade  
now that's its gone  
it's like it wasn't there at all  
and here i rest  
where disappointment and regret  
collide  
lying awake at night_

Death Cab for Cutie- Title and Registration 

to be continued...


	5. Reason To Make This Last

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter Five: Reason To Make This Last

Luke was sitting on his couch with his right hand placed pressure on his left. She rushed toward him as she saw him cringing in pain.

"What happened?" she asked as she took a towel from his cabinet.

"I don't know where I had the cell phone last and when I thought I knew where I put it, I knocked over the lamp. I tried to clean up the mess and this happened." and motioned with his hand. "What are you doing?"

"You shouldn't be moving around this much." she said as she cleaned the scab that formed on his skin. His face cringed from the searing pain the cleansing caused.

"I'm just dabbing some peroxide to clean it."

"Why are you doing this?" he said

"I thought we went over this..." she said as she took some bandages from her purse. "to clean.." he cut her off.

"Well you shouldn't have.. don't" as he pulled his hand away from her.

"Luke I'm just trying to help."

"You're only here because you're feeling sorry for the way I am now. I don't want your pity if that's what you think I need."

"That's not why I'm here!" she defended herself.

"Tell me then, why on earth did you agree to look after me, after avoiding me for so long?" 

"You told me to go away."

"Since when do you listen to me?" he said half heartedly.

"I agreed because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do anything to help you."

"Bullshit! You slept with Christopher and you lived with that!" he cut her where he knew it would hurt. He knew she and Chris were together now, and it was the direct result of their breakup. "You couldn't wait to end things with me to be with him."

"You know that's not true." she countered. "That was the last thing I wanted to do but you didn't give me a choice."

"Lorelai we were engaged for god's sake." she tried to restrain herself from speaking but she couldn't help it.

"Yeah, but then after you found out you had a daughter everything changed."

"Don't bring her into this, you have no right to blame her for your infidelity!"

"I never blamed her for what I did...I only blame myself. I was tired of holding on to something that was no longer there. Whatever we had, it somehow dissipated into nothing. I didn't want to go on pretending everything was damn peachy when they weren't. I just needed to let go of the desperation because it just hurt so much. I'm doing this for you because after all, you're still my best friend Luke, despite everything that happened to us." 

- - - - -

They sat across from each other, quiet for a while, neither wanted to break the silence that settled between them.

Tonight, both Luke and Lorelai felt themselves emerge back to who they used to be, the ones that they've shunned away the day they broke up. She didn't want to be the first one to utter another word but his wound was still opened and she needed to dress it.

"You're cut pretty deep. I only have small bandaids and you don't seem to have any gauze. I'm just going to Doose's and buy some antibiotic ointment as well. I'll be right back."

- - - - -

She was on her way back to the diner when she heard someone call her name.

"Lor!" Chris called out as he walked towards her and she turned to face him.

"What are you doing here?" she was irritated. "I told you I'm busy."

"Yeah but I thought I'd come by and bring you dinner, and see I dressed up and everything."

"Good for you." she scoffed.

"What's going on Lor?" 

"You're asking me what's wrong? It's the fact that after all these years, you still can't seem to say my name right." 

"That's what this is about?"

"No!" she yelled out and finally letting go of the frustrations she kept. "Chris, we were never meant to be more than what we were." 

"Lor.." she glared at him. "I mean Lorelai..." before he could say anything else, she cut him off.

"After everything, you haven't grown up. I'm done. I'm done being someone who I'm not. It's over."

"No..." he cried in desperation. Without even saying a word back, she walked away from him. She stalled before letting herself in the diner but he watched her go in before he walked back to his car.

_All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight  
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right  
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long  
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong_

Snow Patrol- Make This Go On Forever 

to be continued...


	6. A Not So Subtle Awakening, Quite Frank

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter Six : A Not So Subtle Awakening, Quite Frank In Fact

His head felt as heavy as a boulder the minute he woke up one morning. He figured if he slept it off, it would go away. When he woke up again, it was still there, the pain worse than before. Her visits reduced to twice a day, to bring him lunch and dinner. Since their fight a couple of weeks ago, their conversations (if you can call it that) reduced to nothing more than a 'do you need anything else?' Not that they were chatty to begin with, but they both felt a shift between their dynamic again. He patted his bed in search of his phone. 'oh what I would to get this damn thing off my face..' he mumbled to himself. He knew his phone well enough to know where the number one and call buttons were. It rang, but went directly to her voice mail.

- - - - -

"Ok so that concludes the meeting for this week. Thank you guys and keep up the good work!" The Dragonfly staff soon dispersed back to their normal positions while Lorelai gathered her notes and noticed that her phone was blinking on the screen that indicated she had voice messages. She was about to check the message but was distracted when she heard someone call her name and she placed the phone in her pocket.

"Mom!"

"Rory!" she hugged her daughter as she was surprised to see her early in the morning where she was usually at her Stanford office. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I can't visit my lovely mother on a day like today?"

"Oh no, what did you do? Do I need to get a lawyer for you again?"

"Oh Jeez mom!" she rolled her eyes.

"I'm just kidding." she smirked as she let go of her daughter. "What are you playing hooky?" she laughed at the thought.

"Actually I am." Lorelai gave her a look.

"Apocalypse now anyone?"

"I just needed to get away from the newspaper for awhile. I know, I know.. I wanted to be a journalist..."

"Just to get the record straight, I didn't say a word." she patted her daughter on the shoulder. "So you played hooky to hang out with Mommy?"

"Absolutely... and also to tell you that I can't be at Friday Night Dinner this week."

"You just keep dropping bombs like it's D-day today."

"Sorry but I have a deadline I have to meet."

"All right kid, but you owe me. You owe me big." she gave her daughter a grin.

"Who were you going to talk to earlier? you know before I distracted you, you had your phone in your hand."

"Thanks for reminding me." she dials her voice mail number then held her phone to her ear. She had ten messages total, the first five were from Christopher, pleading to talk to her which she quickly deleted, two from Rory telling her that she was going to stop by, two messages from Pete, the Dragonfly's linen delivery guy, and the last one from Luke.

"Hey Lorelai...It's Luke, I don't want to bother you at work but can you swing by earlier than you usually do? My head is hurting and I just want it to go away but I don't know where my pain relievers are... ok so.. bye."

As soon as she heard his message, she told Rory that she needed to run an errand that was strictly business that unfortunately she couldn't tag along. She told her daughter to stay as long as she wanted and that she'd return as soon as she could.

- - - - -

She opened the door to his apartment and found him trying to sleep off his headache. He shifted back and forth and tried to hinder the pain. Lorelai sat next to him and began to soothe his forehead with her fingers. 

"Lorelai?"

"No Shirlock, it's Jeeves." she quipped. She felt him relax with her touch.

"I expected you to be here much later."

"I aim to confuse." she remarked with a smile. "I'll just get you some water and Tylenol before I go." she walked towards the kitchen, drew water from the sink and found the medicine in his cupboard. She sat back down next to him and handed him the glass and pills.

"Thank you." he whispered.

"and maybe later, you'll let me help you trim that beard of yours. Because frankly it just looks scary." she joked and he gave her a tiny smile.

- - - - -

"You're back so soon!" her daughter greeted her while she was typing on her laptop in Lorelai's office.

"It was a quick errand. So what are you occupied with daughter of mine? I thought you were playing hooky, what's with the work face?"

"Jared forgot to send me some extra pieces for next week. I swear the guy is like a Paris- reincarnate." 

"Well you do attract the best of them." she said and gave her daughter a look.

"I'll be done in ten minutes then we can go have lunch together."

"That's all I wanted to hear." she walked out of her office and headed to the kitchen.

"and remember to degrease before you de glaze Steve, ok?" Sookie was lecturing one of the newly hired cooks.

"Hey Sook!" Lorelai said with a smile. 

"Hey, someone's all smiles today" it was the first time in months that she'd seen her wear a genuine smile on her face. 

"I smile."

"So you and Christopher made up?"

"What?"

"That's why you're happy right, because things are right again?" 

"Sookie.." she wanted to avoid that subject, but Sookie seemed to have the knack to bring up topics she did not want to discuss. "It's not that."

"Then who is it, Luke?" she said it as a joke then she saw Lorelai's expression. "Luke? You're happy because...How... Whe.. Huh?"

"It's not what you think."

"I don't even know what to think. We haven't even seen him around since he just disappeared one day and Liz closed the diner. I'm confused."

"He was in a car accident. Liz asked me to look after him and I agreed." 

"How long have you been doing this?"

"A while." kept details vague.

"Does Christopher know about this?"

"No." she paused. "I ended things with him last night.

"To be back with Luke?" 

"No."

"Then you're happy because you're with neither of them?"

"No. I'm just happy to smile again."

She told Sookie about everything that she'd bottled up inside her this past year. She told her about feeling out of her element since her breakup with Luke, that she only resurfaced when she saw him again, the first time they spoke to each other again.

- - - - -

"Are you sure you're fine? You seemed like you wanted to say something earlier." Rory said as they both walked towards her car. She knew her mother well enough to know something was off.

"I did actually." she paused "So next Friday night, you're going to be there right?"

"Yes mom, and for the rest of forever, I'm going to be your buffer."

"I'll hold you to that missy."

"I'm sensing that's not it."

"I ended it with your dad." she watched her daughter's expression. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" 

"Well, I just severed ties with him. It would be my fault if your relationship goes down the drain as well." 

"That's his choice then. Are you sorry things didn't work out between the two of you?"

"Truth be told Hon, I wasn't myself when I was with him. I mean how could I have been?" Rory didn't respond but simply gave her mother a hug. Lorelai closed her eyes and hugged her daughter back tightly.

- - - - -

"Did you like the pot roast?" she asked as she ate next to him.

"It's delicious." He took his fork and accidentally stabbed at the table. "Crap." she giggled but stopped herself. "You can laugh you know" 

"I'm sorry."

"No really, you can because I do." he gave her a smile.

"Do you want some more?" she asked as he drank water.

"That would be good." she opened another to go container and spooned some on his plate. She guided his hand with the fork over the plate to avoid him stabbing at something else. Before she let go he placed his hand on top of hers, she didn't budge. "Lorelai." he said in a tone that melted her stability. He felt her breath so close to him. Without sight, he knew her exact position and what was about to happen. She leaned in closer, and their lips touched gently. It was brief, but the connection they just had, made them feel more alive than they had been for the past year. They slowly broke off the kiss and let go of each other's hands.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked nervously.

"No." 

"Then I think I'm gonna head out now." not knowing what to say next.

"All right." he simply said and nodded his head as she cleaned up then left a couple of minutes later.

He walked towards his bed, having memorized a way where he won't hit anything in his path. Earlier he couldn't sleep because of his painful headache, now he couldn't sleep because of that one gesture, that one kiss resuscitated his faith back to life. 

_Where I'm supposed to be?  
I lost my heart, I buried it too deep  
Under the iron sea_

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball  
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful  
Mirror, mirror on the wall

Keane- Crystal Ball

to be continued...


	7. Your Eyes Speak Louder Than Our Ears

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter Seven: Your Eyes Speak Louder Than Our Ears Could Ever Hear

"It looks like you're on your way to a clear recovery Mr. Danes, no pun intended." the doctor perused the chart in front of him.

"So eventually I'll get to see again?"

"Yes, for now as a precaution and to prevent infection buildup, you'd have to wear the bandages. Next week, we'll see how you're doing and discuss it further. Shall I tell your friend outside?"

"Ok." the doctor stepped out of the office. A nurse came in with a wheelchair and Luke recognized it instantly "Do I really have to be wheeled out every single time I leave the hospital?" 

"Sorry, just following protocols." said the nurse as she helped him sit and wheeled him out where they were greeted by Lorelai.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ok, I guess." he said as Lorelai helped him to her Jeep. Since their kiss a couple of nights ago, their conversations became more scarce than before. Neither wanted to bring up that particular moment. So instead they kept their thoughts to themselves which then regressed their progress even further. Despite the lack of talk, Lorelai did as she promised. She took care of Luke and made sure that he kept his biweekly appointments to see his eye doctor.

"Would you mind if you stayed at my house just for tonight? I have a lot of work to do after Friday night dinner and it would really be helpful." 

"I don't mind."

- - - - -

"Last plea to be a cause for distraction?"

"They're your parents, I'm sure you can hold out for a couple of hours. You've gotten out alive before, here it is actually on the other end of the line. I'm speaking to her now." Rory said as she attempted to balance her cell phone and write something at the same time.

"I know I'm living proof. But how am I going to tell them about yet another disappointing decision that I've made. I swear one of these days, one of them is just going to contract an aneurysm at the dining room."

"It won't be that bad."

"Yes it will. It's like five years ago all over again. I hate this." 

"Well then don't tell them."

"Oh yeah easy for you to say. You're not going to be there to receive Emily Gilmore's most likely patented withering glare, that ' you have yet figure how to have a long term relationship' look."

"You're being paranoid, beyond normal."

"Of course I am, I haven't been to Friday night dinners alone with the Gilmores, a.k.a. Mr. and Mrs. Judgmental."

"Again I'm telling you to flat out lie, you've done it before. I did learn from the best." 

"See the thing is I don't want to." she heard Rory gasp. "What?"

"I think I need to clear out my ears or did you actually say that you didn't want to lie to grandma and grandpa?"

"Your ears are just dandy, loin fruit."

"Oh please don't mention that again." Lorelai snickered.

"I don't want to lie to them for my sake. I want to tell them because damnit I'd been lying to myself that I was happy with your dad when I wasn't."

"Then I don't see the problem here, you've just answered your own dilemma. Tell them what you just told me and someway or another, they'll understand."

"Ok now I think my ears need to be cleaned."

- - - - -

Lorelai offered him Rory's bedroom but he simply requested to stay in the living room. At first Paul anka didn't recognize Luke and immediately hid under the kitchen table. With a couple of soft pets and whispers from Lorelai, he went and sniffed Luke's hand and immediately recognized him and had yet to leave his side. He didn't have the full length beard but it was still longer than a five o'clock shadow.

- - - - -

Lorelai had sorted out how she was going to 'survive a night of torment and guilt' from the Gilmores. She even went as far as to prepare a couple of transition conversations as to how she was going to get around them. What she didn't anticipate was who she saw sitting with her parents.

"What the.." she trailed off as she wondered what Christopher was doing there.

"Lorelai!" Emily greeted her with an unusually large smile, almost giddy in fact.

"Here's your glass Lorelai." Richard handed her a champagne flute.

"What's all this?"

"What do you mean?" Emily said. "We're celebrating!" 

"Celebrating what?" Everything that she'd prepared earlier disappeared into thin air.

"Your engagement, what else?" Richard exclaimed.

"I swear if Christopher didn't ask us, we wouldn't have known that you two had plans of finally getting married." Emily said still with an annoyingly cheerful glee.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" her face was thirteen different shades of red at once with fury and almost grabbed Christopher by the collar.

"Lor, let me..." before he could finish what he was about say Lorelai slapped him hard. Richard and Emily were left stunned.

"You have some nerve coming to my parent's house after I've clearly broken up with you!"

"Then the next second, you're having an affair!" he snorted back and her eyes widened. "That's right I saw you that night that you broke up with me, I saw you going into that diner."

"I was not having an affair with Luke!"

"But unlike him, I'm willing to forgive you Lor. I don't care if you had a one night stand with him. I'm still willing to marry you."

"Forgive me?!" she was screaming at this point. "You have no right to come here and tell my parents we're getting married! For a whole fucking year, I've kept my real feelings aside. There wasn't a day that passed that I regretted waking up next to you after Luke and I had just broken up. I'm so goddamn tired that it hurts just to get up in the morning." she felt herself shiver and fought back the tears wanted so desperately to be released.

"Get out of my house Christopher!" Richard said angrily.

"Richard...Emily..." Chris tried to plead.

"You heard him, leave now or I'm calling the police." Emily said as she guided Lorelai to go into the pool house.

- - - - -

He heard the door click and assumed it was Lorelai.

"I knew you'd survive the turmoil." Rory thought it was her mother that was sitting on the couch under the covers.

"Rory?" she stopped at her tracks and realized who this person was.

"Luke?" he immediately sat up and bent his head down. "I'm.. I didn't..." she stammered.

"Your mom didn't tell me that you were coming home."

"It was a spur of the moment thing." 

- - - - -

"I had Beatrice fix you a plate if you wanted to eat." Emily entered the pool house.

"Thank you but I think I'm just going to go home." she said as she stood up from the couch. "I'm sorry I ruined dinner mom." she said as she avoided her mother's concerned eyes.

"You still love him don't you?" Lorelai gave her a look.

"After all of that, you still think I love him?"

"I wasn't talking about Christopher."

"He's the only one mom." and gave her mother a sad smile. "Thank dad for me as well." she said before she headed out the door. It was the first time she admitted that to herself out loud in a long time and also her mother.

_stones taught me to fly  
love, it taught me to cry  
so come on courage  
teach me to be shy  
'cause it's not hard to fall  
and you know that you just don't know_

Damien Rice- Cannonball 

to be continued...


	8. For What It's Worth, I'll Take The Leap

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.  
A/N: Wow, thanks for your reviews. :) I wasn't expecting any more than the number of chapters I have so yeah this is really exciting news. Thanks for taking some time and reading this story that I concocted. Ok, now back to business and I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter Eight: For What It's Worth, I'll Take The Leap

They sat in silence for a good half an hour, not knowing how to start conversation like they were strangers just meeting for the first time. Lorelai never really spoke about Luke after she told Rory that she knew his whereabouts, but that was it. She didn't even know that her mother was even in contact with him. The fact that he was at their house threw her off even more. However, this was Luke after all. She'd known him since her mother discovered diner.

"Have you eaten yet?" he nodded no. "Would you like some pizza?" she finally asked after being quiet.

"Sure." and as he said this she took out her cell phone and called for delivery.

"I'm sorry for ruining your plans." he said as she closed her phone five minutes later.

"There was no plan, you don't need to apologize."

"So I'm guessing that your mom never told you about this huh?" he pointed to his eyes.

"She mentioned it, but didn't really elaborate." she paused. "How does it.. I mean how are you doing?"

"A little better."

"That's good."

"How have you been?"

"Really busy actually." she could have easily said fine and end their conversation there but she didn't want to. "One of our leads quit a couple of weeks ago and that really threw us off."

"I'm real proud of you." he said softly. "Of what you've accomplished."

"Thank you." she smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I couldn't have done it without mom or you."

"Me?" he gulped. "What have I ever done?"

"The question should be, what have you not done?" she removes her hand away slowly. "You were there for us since the day you met us. You were there when mom and I had that stupid separation. You were more of a father figure to me than my dad did. You were always there, and for that I'd always be grateful."

- - - - -

She parked her Jeep in front of the Dragonfly and walked right in the kitchen. Sookie was just about to finish up making her bread doughs when Lorelai walked in the kitchen hurriedly which caused Sookie to drop the dough she was kneading.

"Oh my!" Lorelai exclaimed.

"Lorelai, I swear I'm going to drop dead from these surprise visits!"

"Sorry Sook." she went for the dough on the floor but Sookie stopped her.

"It's ok, this was just an extra batch. I'll just throw it away. What are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be at your parent's house?" she dumped the deflated dough in the trash

"I was, but I didn't get to have dinner."

"Man your parents are tough, they sent you back to Stars Hollow without a meal because you broke things off with Christopher?"

"No, but you're on the right track."

"What do you mean?"

She told Sookie the event that happened at the Gilmore's home just a couple of hours ago while she helped her clean up the kitchen.

- - - - -

It was ten o'clock but she figured Luke was still awake and was in the kitchen since he wasn't sitting in the sofa. She passed the living room and went towards the kitchen and saw Rory reading out sports news to Luke but stopped as she saw her mother walk in.

"Rory?" her daughter looked up and gave her a smile.

"Hey mom."

"I thought you were busy tonight."

"I was but I finished earlier than I thought so I came here thinking you were already home."

"I'm sorry it took me longer than I thought to get home. I stopped by to get some food from the inn but I see that you've already eaten."

"Do you want some pizza?" Luke asked.

"Yeah." she grabbed a slice on the counter and sat with them.

Lorelai thanked her for keeping Luke company as she kissed her daughter good bye. Rory drove back to her apartment later that night. Lorelai had yet to fill her in with all the details about everything but she understood why her mother kept this from her all along.

She missed Luke but she could not even begin to comprehend how much her mother did. Cynics might call it a selfish act, she kept him a secret. Hoever, she considered this a sort of healing process for the both of them. He needed someone to look after him and she needed someone to care for her. They didn't need for their affection to be displayed out in the world for everyone to see. They didn't need that pressure. All they needed to know was that they cared for each other. They were there for each other even after everything that had happened.

She witnessed how much the pain affected Luke and her mother. She saw it in his eyes the last time she saw him, the week after that they'd broken up. She saw it in her Lorelai's eyes, through the tears that she cried when realization dawned on her that everything between them was really over.

Rory knew that, they still both carried a sacred place in their hearts for each other. No matter how far they pushed their feelings aside, those feelings wouldn't just dissolve into thin air.

_there's always something in the way  
there's always something getting through  
i hope to lose myself for good  
i hope to find it in the end  
not in me  
in you_

_Switchfoot- You _

to be continued...


	9. What If You Catch Me

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter Nine: What If You Catch Me, Where Would We Land? 

There were days when she brought Paul anka to keep him company, which he secretly enjoyed. The first time he met Paul anka, he recalled that he said that he didn't like dogs. As neurotic as that dog was, he grew fond of him and his weird habits. His mind always drifted to the night when he rushed Paul anka to the vet. He realized that he did everything and anything just to keep him alive, for her. He was there and that was what she needed.

She was distracted with her estrangement from Rory. She was emotionally detached at times and he was there to help her heal. But when he found out about April, he had forgotten about her and directed attention to his daughter and her alone. Everything else up to that point became a blur. It's moments like those that made him realize, that he left her fending for herself long before she presented the ultimatum that lead to where they were now.

He was the one who bailed first.

- - - - -

They reached a rhythm where Lorelai would stroll in his apartment carrying food for two. He would sit on the table as she took out the food containers and prepared him a plate.

"What did you bring today?"

"Sookie made Pasta Carbonara." she handed him his container.

"Sounds good and smells great."

"She's obsessed with making handmade pasta now. There was a point where the kitchen was covered in flour." he chuckled. "That's Sookie for ya."

"She's something." he said as he took a bite of the pasta. "Woah, this is really good."

"Good, I'll tell her you said so."

- - - - -

"Hey Lorelai, it's Liz! Sorry to call so late. I just called to tell you that we're coming back in about a couple of weeks. We cleared out faster than we thought. Anyway, Thank you so much again for taking care of Luke. Alright, I'll call you the day before we get home. I got to go, TJ is still struggling to put on Adam's diapers. Bye!"

After she heard the message for the third time, she was saddened that their ritual would soon be over. Luke was going to leave his apartment again, leave her again. As she thought about it further, the only thought that kept coming back to her was that kiss they had a few weeks back. Neither spoke about it and she surely didn't want to be the first one to bring it up. It was easier to shove away back then. Things between them were getting better and she needed to say something before it's too late.

- - - - -

"Why are you so quiet tonight?" he asked her as they both ate the meal Sookie prepared for them. She looked at him then looked back down on her plate.

"Liz called." trying not to sound dejected.

"Oh." the immediate thought in his head that she was happy to be rid of him, the constant burden that she was left to care for. "So I guess you're happy huh? You don't have to come by here anymore."

"What are you talking about?" a question that transgressed her pain across like no other.

"You won't be obligated to look after me."

"That's not how I saw this as Luke." she paused "Not ever." She placed her hand on top of his.

"Lorelai, don't." he hesitated but removed his hand.

"I'm sorry." He didn't need to see her facial expression, he felt her emotionally pull away.

"We're talking again." he said in a low tone. "I don't want us to reduce to nothing just because of something we did." there he'd laid it out on the table.

"The kiss?" she asked softly he nodded his head yes slightly.

"I didn't want to bring it up because you didn't talk to me for days." she reached for his hand again and this time he didn't budge.

"I don't want you to go away." He tightened his grip of her hands.

"Who said I'm going anywhere?" that's all he needed to say before she leaned in and kissed him. The reality of this moment struck them both in awe.

"So what now?"

"I want this." he said almost in desperation. "You, us."

"So do I." she said without hesitation as she held his hand. "I want to have a clean slate between us."

"I don't want us to start from nothing, Lorelai. We worked too hard to just go back to the way we were then." he intertwined his fingers with hers. "We just got side tracked..."

"By life." she added. "I want there to be an us again, and if it takes longer than before then I'll just have to wait."

_When I was sure you'd follow through,  
My world was turned to blue.  
When you'd hide  
your songs would die,  
so I'd hide yours with mine.  
And all my words were bound to fall.  
I know you won't fail._

_Remy Zero- Fair _

_to be continued... _

A/N: Originally this was it but I stretched it to have another chapter which I'm currently working on. Please Review and Tell me what you think. Stay tuned for the last installment of this fanfic.


	10. I Spelled Wonderful With Won, And I Did

Title: **Hindsight **  
Author: Karleen  
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter Ten: I Spelled Wonderful With Won, And I Did

It had been two weeks since they told each other that they were willing to try again, slowly taking small steps to a path they used to be familiar with. She would come by his apartment and bring him his meals, and some times Paul anka for company, just like before. However, once every while she would kiss him softly and he'd give her a smirk.

One night, she was so exhausted from a very busy day that she asked one of her staff, Henry to deliver food to him. Little did she know that the delivery man would come back with Luke twenty minutes later.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as Henry led Luke to her and they walked to her office.

"I.." she helped him sit on the sofa. "I just missed you is all."

"Aww." she ran her fingers against his shaven face, with her help of course. 

"I'm sorry to bother you at work."

"You never do." she gave him a quick kiss. "Did you even eat the food that I sent you?"

"I asked Henry to put it in the fridge."

"Are you hungry? I could get Sookie to.."

"No, no I just wanted to be around you. Please just pretend I'm not here, like a fly on the wall." 

"Creepy." she joked. "and plus that's really impossible seeing as though there's a handsome man in my office." 

"Where?" he asked.

"Right on my desk" referring to the coffee cup on her disheveled desk. "Luke meet my lover Juan Valdez."

"If you could only see my eyes roll." he grunted

"Tomorrow. Your doctor's appointment. I can't wait." she chuckled. "Another eye roll?" he smiled at that.

- - - - -

She had been sitting in the waiting room and as soon as he'd seen her, he smiled. She's even more radiant than he'd remembered her being, more beautiful than he'd ever engrained in his head. She tried not to look as bored as she was but figured if she didn't keep herself occupied, she would fall asleep. She took a pile of magazines from the rack and placed them under her seat as she skimmed through the outdated reading materials. He walked towards her slowly, she had her back to him so she didn't know he was coming.

He felt like he'd finally just woken up from a nightmare as the bandages were slowly peeled off his face. The room was darkened to accommodate his desensitized vision. The doctor carefully checked and tested his reflexes and made sure his pupils dilated properly. His eyelids had recovered immensely but scars were still visible. Luke didn't care, as long as he could see, he was grateful. He was readjusting to light, to being able to see again so the doctor told him to wear sunglasses just in case the rays became too intense for him. He walked out of the room by himself. 'A milestone' he thought then berated himself for a cheesy comment.

"Trying to keep yourself occupied for the big unveiling." he whispered in her ear and startled her and she dropped the week old Entertainment Weekly.

"Shit Luke, you scared me." she turned around. "Oh my god." she gasped as she saw his eyes for the first time through the sunglasses.

"Yeah I know." he sat next to her and held her hand.

"How are you feeling?"

It took him a while to muster his thoughts into words but when he did he summed it all with just one, 'Blessed'. He felt blessed to be able to see again, to appreciate his life once again and most of all to be able to have another chance to be with Lorelai Gilmore, the woman who captured his heart the moment she stepped into the diner, wild eyed begging for coffee.

"You're beautiful."

"Sweety, stop listening to James Blunt." she flashed him a smile and got up.

"Oh geez." he muttered and elicited a laugh from her.

- - - - -

It was his moment to ask, one year after they've reconciled. Sure they had fights and arguments but at least they were open to each other. They let each other in on anything and everything on their minds, the good, bad, and ugly. He even asked her to help him get in touch with April. He hadn't had contact with her and wanted to make amends. He wanted to get to know her, but this time around he wanted Lorelai to be there as well.

He thought about the 'perfect moment' to ask her once and for all to be his wife. He planned to ask her on her birthday. They got home from two separate parties that her parents and Stars Hollow threw for her fortieth birthday. They were both spent after the end of the night that they both fell asleep as they hit the couch. By the time he woke up the next morning, the velvet box was still in his coat pocket. He became too stealth with hiding it that the second time he attempted to 'pop the question', he forgot where he hid the ring. It was in a tin box in his kitchen cupboard behind the copious spices that he used. He found it a week later and decided that he was just going to keep it on hand and not even wait for a moment. He figured that they've waited long enough.

After dinner, Lorelai usually ordered dessert to bring home even if she already complained that he let her eat too much. Of course, he's so used to their banter that he even deemed it normal, for them anyway. That night, she loved the caramel pecan cheesecake so much that she ordered enough to last her a week.

"Where are you going with that box?" he said as she was about to head into her kitchen.

"Getting forks."

"Forks? you know I don't eat that." 

"I'm well aware, that's why I didn't order the whole thing."

"Yes but half is just good enough for you?" 

"The perfect amount. I'm gonna go put the rest in the fridge."

"Give me, I'll do it. I'll even make you coffee." she smiled, gave him a kiss and handed him the box. 

"Perfect man, but not quite as perfect as the oozing caramel and crunchy pecan topping on that cheesecake. Better hurry mister or I'll be tempted to jump you for not giving them to me right away. And I'm not talking about anything sexual here." 

"Alright, crazy lady. Put on a movie and I'll be right back." he said as he went to the kitchen and she sat on the couch. He took the cheesecake off the box and placed the contents in the fridge. He tapped his coat pocket and reached in for the velvet box and wrapped it in some napkins and placed it in the cheesecake box. He brewed the coffee and readied a cup for her. He walked back into the living room where he found her sitting on the couch, with her leg on the coffee table. He sat next to her and left the box and mug on the table as he tapped her leg away.

"Hey." she playfully scolded.

"Hey yourself, I didn't want you kicking the coffee off the table and I have to get up and get you a new one."

"Oh you know you love it when I do that." she took her leg off the table and reached for the box. "Where's my fork?"

"In the box." he said as she opened the box and found the crumpled up napkins and looked gave him a look. 

"This is just a bunch of napkins! I swear I wasn't kidding about the jumping. Where did you..." he cut her off. 

"Will you just look beyond the napkins?" he looked her in the eyes and she obliged.

"Luke..." she said as she saw it and smiled.

"I think you know what I'm about to ask you." She gave him a slight nod. "And as I've told you once, I let my actions speak. That's the romantic way to do this." he smiled, got up and knelt in front of her. "So just in case that doesn't work, I'm going to ask. Will be my wife?" 

"Yes." with no hesitation as she felt tears that started to stream down her face. He gave her a smile as he placed the ring on her finger and sat next to her. He kissed her, almost feverishly being in the heat of the moment. She abruptly broke the kiss and looked him in the eyes. "Wait."

"What?" he said as he pulled her waist closer to his.

"Where's my cheesecake?"

"Lorelai." he said in his a serious tone.

"I'm kidding."

"I love you."

"god help you!" she joked and he rolled his eyes and kissed her again, she pulled back. "I love you too."

**Epilogue.**

Luke rarely took more than a minute to look at himself in the mirror, but when he did his mind certainly wandered. He carefully scanned his face, and touched his scarred eyelids lightly with his left hand. They've healed better than he thought, one could barely even see it nowadays. He glanced at the fact that even if his apartment looked the same as it did a decade ago, he certainly did not remain the same. His scar, a symbolic battle wounds of sorts became a reminder that he'd almost lost everything, his vision, heart and himself. He was given a chance that he never thought he'd gain, he didn't think he could love her more than he does now. He simply smiled as he paused and took a gander at the glimmer of the band on his ring finger as it reflected the light from the window.

"You're up early." he saw her image from the mirror, only in her robe.

"What time is it?" she said sleepily as she rested her head on his back. He slowly turned around.

"Quarter to six." 

"That is early." she said as she looked at him. 

"How are you feeling?"

"I think I made myself very clear last night." she gave him a smirk.

"That you did." he chuckled and kissed her forehead.

Lorelai Gilmore-Danes, she loved the sound of that and she loves him. She loved him more than she could ever explain. She didn't know exactly when she'd fallen for him, maybe even before she realized she had any kind of romantic feelings for him. She had fallen harder; her feelings sank lower when they were apart, to a point where she was barely herself. That was two years ago, a time she'd rather forget. What's past is past as the saying went, she reminded herself. But without mistakes, she would have led a lackluster life and this certainly was not the case for her. They rose above everything in their way and proved that love prevailed no matter what.

"Would it be wrong to reenact our wedding night over and over?" she asked.

"Make sure you wear the garter." he growled and she laughed.

They've come so far from their humble beginnings. They've experienced how it felt like to love, hurt and lose the other through the course of their courtship, even before they professed their feelings towards one another. Through it all, they still wanted to fight for each other. To have their middle, and figure out the rest of their future together.

_and all the roads we have to walk are winding  
and all the lights that lead the way of life  
there are many things that i'd like to say to you but i don't know how  
i said maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me_

Ryan Adams- Wonderwall 

the end.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and wanting to find out more. I have another fic brewin' in my head so I'll post that when I have enough stuff to write about. Anyway thanks again. :)


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